Saturday, March 26, 2011

Better


I had survived.
And at the moment life was quite good, actually. I got used to letting the job and the rest of the world sail away. The thought was intoxicated. To just having myself to care about.
I got better. But I had to stay in bed a bit more, to stay in quarantene. I was reading a book. Watching television. Listening to music. I did everything I wanted.
And my wife served me with dinner. And everything else.
-Is there anything you need, she asked.
-Maybe some juice, I answered.
Her stomach was enormous. It must have goten even bigger since last time I saw her. She put a glas of juice on the stairs.
-How are you, she asked.
-Better, I replied. -But I need to stay in bed for a little longer.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Sicker

The breath. It went in and out. At first it went in. Then it pored slowly out again. And that`s how it went. The roof was over me. The bed under me. Handkerchiefs, used and unused layed on the pillow beside me. A pot of warm juice on the floor.
-Is there something you would like to have, I heard from the floor beneath.
I breathed in. Then out. Then in again.
-No, I breathed out.
I sailed into a place of nothing. It was nothing there. I was nothing. The breath. I had to concentrate on breathing. It teared me out again. The roof was over me. The bed under me. And the breath went in and out.

Sick

Then it was morning again. I went up early. So early that I guessed no one else was up. I wanted to get early to work. So that I could prepare myself some more.
I watched out the dark window. A car passed by in a high speed (someone had been up earlier than me). The wheels was growling against the gravel road. It lasted just a moment. Then the car was gone. Why did this car pass our house? In such a speed?
I put the radio on. It told me the same news as yesterday. I made some coffee. Fixed some other stuff. Went outside.
It was still early when I went out of the bus, and into the office. No one else was there. The lights and the pipes was humming. I tried to prepare. But no matter how early I was, the time went too quick. My colleagues came. One by one. Said hello. And then it started.
During the afternoon I called home to ask if it was ok to work some extra. I wanted to prepare myself some more.
Then. While I was sitting there. I could feel it. My back was aching. And soon the rest of the body. I got dizzy. And warm.
Shit, shit, shit! This couldn`t happen. There was so much I needed to do.
-My God, my wife said. -Get up to the loft, and stay there!
She stayed into the corner while I stumbled up the stairs.
-I guess you`re fingers has been up your nose. No wonder why you have got infected. Just stay up there, far away from me. I`ll put some food to you on the stairs.
I put my body into the guest bed.
The yellow light was singing around in a circle over my head. It was spinning and spinning. Faster and faster. And the work. And everything I could`nt do. And outside maybe some criminals was lurking. And the child. Shit, the child! Maybe it got infected too. And the light was speding up now. It was roaring. Around and around.